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Magic 8-Ball for Startup Advice

Ever wish you had Mark Cuban in your pocket? ... that could get weird. Maybe just on speed dial? The Pocket Startup Advisor is packed full of advice for startups and entreprenuers.

Buy Pocket Startup Advisor - $20

A 20 Sided Dice of pure startup potential

  • Aids Decision Making

    When you're having trouble making a decision, choosing to roll The Pocket Startup Advisor provides you with the perfect amount of startup jargon without actually having to interact with other humans. You probably should ignore the advice, but as Jeff Bezos always says, “Every great decision starts with the roll of a dice.”*

    *We can’t actually find documentation that Jeff Bezos has ever said this.

  • Never Speechless

    Ever been the person in a meeting everyone is looking to for an answer? With The Pocket Startup Advisor a simple dice roll will give you the perfect script. Best case: You look like the smartest person in the room. Worst case: It’s jargony enough people don’t understand it but they nod their heads and move on. We call that a win-win.

  • Saves Time

    Do you really want someone else's advice when you ask for it? If you’re like most startup CEOs the answer is probably no. With The Startup Pocket Advisor you don’t have to waste your time thinking about what you’re going to say as soon as the person across from you stops talking. As an added bonus, you still have a 1/20 chance of getting the advice they were going to give you!

Buy The Pocket Startup Advisor

$20.00

Enhance Your productivity and scale up!

As an early adopter, you’re always looking for the next new things to enhance your productivity, scale your work, and improve your life. To the simpleton, this may just look like a 2” dice with some text. But a true disruptor knows the value of the small things. For the same price as 2 months of spotify (+$0.02), you can have a lifelong advisor (who can’t talk back). This soon-to-be trusted pal will see you through every pivot, MVP, and social media consultant along the way.  

FAQ

But wait, what is it?

Are our puns and tech talk too much for you? Fine, we’ll tone it down for this one question. It's a 20 sided dice, with startup advice phrases on each side. Think 'Magic 8-Ball', but you’re not 9 years old anymore and this advice you can actually use. (Maybe, kind of.)

Is it true this dice is singlehandedly responsible for the success of Airbnb?

There is a 100% chance that statement is not true.

Does the dice work?

What does “work” really mean? Can you roll it & get advice? Everytime.* Will the advice “find your product market fit”, “disrupt _____ industry”, or “get your freemium to scale”? It’s debatable.

*Except when using it while in sand.

Are you accepting investment?

Yes, each investor receives a portion of our inventory in proportion to the size of their investment. We call their money 'revenue' and refer to them as 'customers'.  

WWSJD? (What would Steve Jobs do?)

Buy this dice and follow the advice.

Will this work for my established company?

Do you hear the words “pivot”, “synergy”, “innovation”, or “hustle” at least once a day in your office? If so, this dice will work for you. (And by work we mean say the same cliches you’re probably saying but we don’t mean them seriously.)